Potpourri

Friends

Lately, I've given some thought to who some of my friends are and what they bring out in me. In particular, I've noticed people trying to bring me into what can only be described as their immature drama. I could go on and on about how we graduated high school a while ago and should've left that sort of stuff behind, but I think some simple Gospel principles say it better.

I'm somehow expected to hate someone I've never met. I'm supposed to be unfriendly, rude, and even angry with a person who has never done anything wrong to me. Apparently, it's an issue of loyalty to my friends if I am even civil to this person, who, again, has never done anything wrong to me. And, even if she had done me wrong in some way, we are supposed to be merciful people. If we expect to be forgiven, we can be expected to be forgiving. I did a lot of reading about charity when preparing for my talk a few months back, and I never stumbled upon anything that said holding a grudge or instilling hatred in others is living with charity. I don't expect my friends to dislike someone who has caused me problems just because they're my friends. I think to expect that is to hinder your friends' abilities to have charity in their own lives. I have to wonder if friends that are angry with me for trying to have charity in my life are friends at all.

Hmm... okay, so Luke 23:33-34 says "And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." These people had just hurt and betrayed Christ so badly, and what did he do? He begged that they would be forgiven. He didn't say "Heavenly Father, unless you strike some lightning on them or if you keep talking to those people, you're not my friend anymore". Okay, so maybe this is a stretch. I was trying to make some sort of a point here.

Music

I went to an amazing Matt Costa concert on Saturday. It was at the Warfield in SF (a great place by the way). He's very talented and has kind of a folky, catchy, and relaxing style. I just bought the album and have had it playing on my ipod all day. The other group there was G Love, which I didn't think I'd like once they started playing, but they grew on me a little bit. They were kind of like a mix between Jack Johnson and the Beastie Boys. I don't know if i'll buy the album, but I was entertained by them after all. They had the vocalist, a string bassist, keyboard player, and drummer. They all had times where they would play solos, and you could tell that each one was very talented in what they did. The worst part of the concert was that we had balcony seats, and we were surrounded by people smoking. Not cigarettes, the other stuff. Plus, all the smoke from anyone smoking on the floor rose straight up to where we were sitting. It was pretty irritating, and I was worried that the smell wouldn't wash out of my hair by the time I had to go to church the next day. Imagine walking into Ward Council, and having the bishop approach you and say, "Jessica, we need to discuss the Word of Wisdom" or something because you smell like pot. You'd probably also be confused about him using my name to address you, but you might attribute the confusion to the second-hand high from the night before. Overall, good music, so you should check it out.

Laptop

I'm going to get a MacBook. Soon-ish. Not soon enough though. Want to buy my Dell from me? That would be neat. Cash or check donations would also be greatly appreciated.

Procrastination

The only thing I'm very efficient at is wasting time. I'm kind of doing it right now. I could be getting work done. My biggest time-eaters are spider solitaire and crossword puzzles. Procrastination is something I'm trying to do less, but it's a struggle. I feel like I recently heard a talk about making good use of the time we are given, and it's something i'm trying to work on everyday. However, it's just one of the many things I'm trying to improve, and sometimes my other goals take up time, too. It's discouraging that even on days where I'm very productive, the to-do list never just goes away. There's always other work to do or something I should be doing. It's exhausting.

Hmm... this could've made 4 separate posts. Oops!

Uhh... I have a blog?

Weird... I forgot.

Now: it's late, just got home, watching Oprah, winding down, getting ready to sleep

Earlier: getting ready, driving, dancing, talking to people, having fun, driving home

Earlier than that: getting ready, driving, shopping, shopping, shopping, driving home

Earlier than that: sleeping, waking up early, hanging out with little one, napping, showering

I don't really know what the point of this was. I'm gonna start over.

Pshhhhh

Okay so I deleted my last post, primarily because I read it over again and realized that you really just have to see this show to know what I meant. Nevermind.

sigh.

Due to a recent lack of "Friends" references:

Tonight, I was reminded of an episode of Friends. The specific episode occurs sometime in season 5 or 6 or so, after Ross marries that Emily chick but had accidentally said Rachel's name at the alter.

Anywho, so Ross desperately wants to work things out with the new wifey, who's pretty upset about the whole wrong name ordeal. She tells him that she'll move to New York to be with him if he promises not to see Rachel ever again. No friendship, no hanging out, no Central Perk, nada.

I swear, there is a point to this.

So Ross, deciding that he doesn't want to already have been divorced twice (the closet lesbian was the first one), chooses love and promises not to see Rachel anymore. However, he then has to break the news to her. This isn't going to be pretty. Telling a good friend you can no longer see them is almost as difficult as breaking up with someone, I'm sure.

Ross's first attempt at telling Rachel the unfortunate promise he made is thwarted because at that moment, she opens a letter from her mother informing her that her family dog has just died. Rachel is very upset, and Ross, the super sensitive man that he is, could not possibly bear to deliver another piece of bad news to her.

Anyway, the episode continues and after another attempt gone awry (her nose starts bleeding right as he's about to tell her), he finally tells her and she's pretty mad about it. I could go on, but the part of the episode I was reminded of ended in my last paragraph.

Sometimes, life imitates art. Sometimes, life says, "Hey, you know what, art? That's nice and all, but I think I'll do things a little differently"

Rollercoastering

I've been going on a rollercoaster this past month. I go from feeling really happy and really good to feeling sad, annoyed, confused, and frustrated every day. I am having a really hard time knowing what to do because there are times when each choice seems very much like the right choice.

Many of my friends are being less than friendly these days. Some don't answer calls, some don't return calls, some make plans and then flake, and only a very small amount seem like real friends. This makes things harder, because while I need to make some decisions, I don't really have people to talk to about anything, and I'm scared that if I choose to do one thing, I'm not going to have anyone to talk to or hang out with and I'll just be sad and alone all the time.

I don't usually blog about stuff like this, but that's because I usually have people to talk to about what's on my mind.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how long I can wait. I hate the way I feel right now. I hate that I feel like I can't fix it on my own. I hate being worried that I'm not going to figure this out. I hate that I just blogged all this emotional junk because I don't have someone else to talk to.

I feeeeeelllll good nanananana

I wonder if anyone could tell that this post title was actually from that one song.

I start school tomorrow, and I feel slightly more motivated to do well than I did last quarter. Today I realized that 2 of the classes I had signed up for I hadn't completed the prereqs for, so I dropped them and figured out a different schedule. I realize that sometimes they don't care if you take a class without the prereqs, but I just figured it would be easier to hold off on those two classes. Now, here's what I'm taking.

Human Development in Infancy and Early Childhood

Human Development in Adolescence

Abnormal Psychology

American National Government (I have to take either a history or political science class for my major)

Human Evolutionary Biology (the last part of my anthro requirement

Other thoughts:

There's a warning on one of my curling irons that says "Caution: This product may burn eyes". I figure that this has resulted from someone trying to get really curled eyelashes.

I really want Bullets and Romance to get to play the 2007 Taste of Chaos show in this area. Here's some stuff that i'm doing to help and you can do to help, too.

1. Go Vote
2. Go to the voting page and listen to the music. It helps when they have more plays because the contest's main page has a list of the 50 bands with the most plays, and lots of people check out this list. They were on there a lot before Christmas, and it helped out a bunch.
3. Tell other people to vote. Please =)